Rain

It may snow, it may rain,
But my love for you will always remain.
The teardrops keep falling,
As if stomping my heart,
… Still beating, though.

Not that I miss you,
No.
It’s not another excuse,
To keep you by my side,
No.

This time the pain…
Is actually real.
Is it a relief?
You know… You used to…
Pay attention to me…

Faker,
Pretender,
All those words that you hate,
All those words that describe me.

Maybe we should give it up.
We know we are no good.
At least we still take a chance…
On trying to breath.

It’s quite impossible,
My body feels heavy.
I can’t walk or talk.
I stopped listening too.

I can’t hear my screaming
I can’t hear you.
Now, my vision is fading.
All I see now is empty space.

Though I still feel you.
I still feel the warmth of your body
And breath.

Say it once more,
For everyone to hear
That you used to care about my feelings.
Now it’s too late, probably.

Don’t worry, I’ll be watching you.
But later, when your time has come,
I won’t be able to help you.

Always second

Here I am, yet again not wanting but from a distance. She is right next to me, the smart one, and me, the dumb one. She is always better than me in everything… And that’s what pisses me off. I keep on trying to be great but she is always the best, she probably doesn’t have to try. She is always seen by everyone, and I am invisible.
Why should I even care? I turn out to be nothing, right? Compared to everyone, I’m an empty soul. Crawling and roaming around, for nothing, always killing time, studying, for nothing. For whatever I do hers will be thirty times better. It’s always like that. It’s getting me on my nerves.
Maybe it’s jealousy. Or maybe I’m just done with this crap. I quit this game… Probably it was already over, or it didn’t even start.

The war just started.
I'm sick of being compared... to people who do the same shit as me.

This is bullshit, I'll give up. I'm tired of being treated like crap and listening to what friends should do, what they don't accomplish... Fuck it. I'm trying to live my life... while I can.
What if I would drink beer, smoke cigarretes or love girls? Why would you mind? ... And what if I was a boy?

Wasted days

We try,

And we try harder.

But in the end, it goes all wrong.

We work hard to keep our grades.

Though, we screw things up right in the end.

Not that we do the things the wrong way,

No.

It’s just that it turns out to be a mess.

“I hate it here.

It’s so cold, I’m freezing.”

I wish we could get along

Maybe it’s impossible.

“Put the jacket on, freak.”

Yes, it is impossible.

And yet I try,

Over and over.

Maybe this thing hasn’t an end.

It’s always the same shit.

I’m tired of this.

This crap is driving me crazy.

“What is it, dumb fuck?”

“I have a question.”

Maybe I shouldn’t do it.

“Why are you treating me like this?”

The room was noisy,

But in seconds it turned out to be silent.

“I have my motives.”

And there it goes another wasted day.

A normal day.

Maybe… getting along is impossible.

Just one more time

Just one more time
And I promise
It will be perfect.

The rain won’t stop falling
Even if my hands are cold
The wind won’t stop blowing.

My tears will froze
In this storm of such sadness
And I won’t be able to cry anymore.

I can’t tell if it’s good,
Or if it’s bad.
I just feel empty inside.

I don’t want to live forever.
To leave this world
It will be hard.

To be a saint.
And everything is so superficial,
So fake.

Maybe it’s just a bad dream.
But I’m awake
And I can feel the pain.

And I can hear the rain falling…
The wind blowing…
The tears dropping.

When you started out

When you started out
I felt like I was special
But… was it a waste?
What am I supposed to feel?
I’ve never been in love.
Not even with you
Why was I with you?
I wanted to feel my heart beating
Again…
The heat of your breath
Whispers of the wind
On my ear
Louder, and louder

What am I waiting for?
What was I waiting for?
And when I see you I froze
Why?
Why is this feeling…
Stronger than my anger?
Why does it keep comforting me?

When I get into the bus
I always feel lonely
And miserable
Thinking about you
All the time…
If you knew what it takes
To handle such pain…
Maybe you’d pay attention
To who tries to find where you are
Everyday since I wake up
I think of you.
I try to dream about you
I try to find you
But… it never happens.
What can I do?
What should I feel?
Only you can tell.

It has come to this

It has come to this.
You leave me all alone
And this feeling consumes me.
It’s not hate. It’s not fear. It’s not envy.
It’s love. Because I can’t forget that smile.
The smile that is always on your face. Or at least… it was always there.
Why does it have to end like this?
If you still love me… why did it end?
Your smile was broke… you gave up on love.
And you forgot about me. About everyone.
And I fell into the misery of the broken smile of yours.
I shouted silent words. Sad words. I shouted my heart out. I wanted you to hear me.
So please, will you pay attention for a second. And waste your time looking in my eyes.
Tell me what you see. Tell me what you want to see. But don’t say it loud… tell me in your dreams. Tell me your dream.
Was it about me?
It will never end. You promised.
I want to see that smile of yours. Again. Like before. When you were with me.
That beautiful smile of yours.
So… I lost you.
In the maze of your mind… In all the colours of your eyes.
And I came upon a cross… the one on the left is calmer… but the other one, in the right, has no rail-cut… Which one should I take? I know that… if I take the one on the left… I’ll get there, for sure. But… why should I take that one when I have the other? Life is full of choices. You’ll have to face them sometimes.
And then I turn right,… waiting that I’ll be able to win.
But… that’s not true. And I’m aware of it. Because there’s another person… the person you’ve been hiding. The side you don’t want to show.
But… and if I tell you I want to see that side. That other face. Will you show it? No one else is watching us…
And while we talk you touch me. Touch my arms, my chest, my hair… my throat. And you pull it from me. And you throw it away. So I can no longer talk. Can no longer breath… because you quitted this… you quitted the game. This game that everyone calls… “Love”.

Colours

The sky isn’t painted blue
It’s full of those gray tears, which come down your face
When you’re sad…
The clouds cover the sky
And the city dies
Then, when you find yourself
Alone…
Your soul starts to scream
Its pain
And you cover your ears
Because you don’t want to hear the truth
And the truth is that
You’re killing the city
And the red of the blood
All the blood you lost
Starts to dry
And the guilty starts to stab you
Harder…
Deeper…
What you gonna do?
When you’re hurt
And you’re the one to blame
What you gonna do?
Now that you’re alone
No one’s staring
Will you give up?
Now that the wind is not going to blow
Anymore
And the sun won’t shine to you, no more
Now you don’t need to smile
To breathe
No need to see, to feel
Whatever it is
Is it painful? When I’m inside of you?
Now I’ll say goodbye…
When you leave me
This feeling of hate
Becomes a vice
But this time it’s different
This time I loved you
And all this time I wasted
Thinking about this
And these bubbles get me stuck
In the empty
Floating…