Always second

Here I am, yet again not wanting but from a distance. She is right next to me, the smart one, and me, the dumb one. She is always better than me in everything… And that’s what pisses me off. I keep on trying to be great but she is always the best, she probably doesn’t have to try. She is always seen by everyone, and I am invisible.
Why should I even care? I turn out to be nothing, right? Compared to everyone, I’m an empty soul. Crawling and roaming around, for nothing, always killing time, studying, for nothing. For whatever I do hers will be thirty times better. It’s always like that. It’s getting me on my nerves.
Maybe it’s jealousy. Or maybe I’m just done with this crap. I quit this game… Probably it was already over, or it didn’t even start.

The war just started.
I'm sick of being compared... to people who do the same shit as me.

This is bullshit, I'll give up. I'm tired of being treated like crap and listening to what friends should do, what they don't accomplish... Fuck it. I'm trying to live my life... while I can.
What if I would drink beer, smoke cigarretes or love girls? Why would you mind? ... And what if I was a boy?